You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
