so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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