I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
