i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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