he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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