At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
