good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just pee around me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
