They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
