Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
