Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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