You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
