I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
