It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
