am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
