marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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