I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
