I wish I only lived at night.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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