Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
