i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
