Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
