Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
