Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
