I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
