I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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