is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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