Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
