Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
