Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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