you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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