he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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