So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
worst night to have a conscience
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
