he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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