I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
