WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Everclear isn't food dammit
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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