cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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