Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
