He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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