Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
