fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
