I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
