you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
