I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
