great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
