You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
