If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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