On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
