Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
