you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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