so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I believe in your delicious
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
