Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
